so last night… my ex called me to come drop off his stuff. i went to his room and he was sitting on his bed with his laptop and i went to sit down and he turned his whole body and laptop away so i couldn’t see what he was doing. he was typing a lot, so he must’ve been talking to someone. the *other girl*. we smoke a cig in his bathroom and he has me sit on his lap. my whole body is shaking from being so nervous. my hands are sweaty too. last time i felt this way was in the beginning of our relationship. he gives me a usb of all his new music which i thought was so sweet. he tells me how he planned on rolling today. i told him i have rolls. we go to my place to pick it up and go back to his apartment. he plays the new music he gave me and i start dancing. slowly taking an article of clothing off to tease him. and we have sex. during sex i went to pee and went through his phone. he’s talking to an old flame calling her babe. they’re talking about sending pictures of something and seeing each other soon. she goes to BU and we go to RU. he told me he’s going to go home today to see his grandmother. I’m thinking not. he told me he’s going home next weekend to. I’m thinking i know why. we finish sex hours later and he tells me he’s sleepy. the fuck, you are rolling bro, you are not sleepy. so i took that hint that i should go home and not sleepover. and i went home to try to go on his fb to figure out if he is rally with this girl bc i refuse to believe it.
i’m always on the verge of tears because i can’t stop thinking about him. i look for his face everywhere i go just hoping i can see him again, even if he can’t see me
